| As I stood alone, watching the beads of rain dribble off the the edge
of the overhang. I looked into the moon lit sky tonight and saw
my life unwind slowly b4 my eyes. A feeling of emptyness ...
hopelessness came before me as I reminised to the many memories and
milestones that make me who I am. I stood today, after a quite
walk in the drizzing morning rain, to find myself at total peace and
total freedom, because at 1:30 in the morning under the shelter of the
elementary school covers, I knew few would be around to witness my
ordeal. I walked quietly along the wavy cement path to a
playground where I sat and played like I was 4 again. with no one
to watch and no one to judge me for being 19 years old and playing on a
child's toy. I sat there thinking, and wondering how in less than
3 short weeks, I will be 20 ... how I imagined my life to be different.
Nonetheless, I try to live a life without regrets ... cliche-ish?
yes indeed and by no means am I free of regret, but I am in a good
place in my life right now, and I am content.
Quickly, this feeling of emptiness was filled with the urge to play
some basketball ... funny as this seems, I thought why the hell not, so
I walked across the street, went home, got a ball and under the dim
school lights of 2 am, I played my heart out. "dance like no ones
watching"? well in keeping with that, I played like no one was sleeping
haha.
I played silently thinking about many things from childhood memories of
birthdays, cousins, my grandparents, friends, championship games and
many of the trivial things of my childhood that I am glad I have kept
in my mind.
Many familar faces and many familiar places crossed my mind, and many
thanks are due, to my family especially, friends, and the many ppl that
have touched my life in so many ways, I thank you, and you will almost
never hear me say this, but I love you all and truely appreciate all
that you have done for me.
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